That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
