What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
