Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
