Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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