Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
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