i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
