"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize