i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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