in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
