Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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