just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
420 ftw
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
