I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize