Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm getting married
To pizza
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
