How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
