I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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