i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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