We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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