im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
