Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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