cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
love makes seman taste better
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
