you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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