don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
