Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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