Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You took a bar mat shot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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