Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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