So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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