she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She's like a pop up book from hell.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
