You really coming over, don't trick.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize