please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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