Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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