Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
