It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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