I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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