im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Randomize
