I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
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