Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
