well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
