Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
