my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
