I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
