Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
