I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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