She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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