I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
