the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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