please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize