Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
