Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
