8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
