oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
