If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I AM VODKA MAN
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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