She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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