I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
