nut hugger
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
