great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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