he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
