did you get engaged???
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
