why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
