I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
