if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
im holly from the hills drunk
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
