Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
